Recent Movie Reviews

Girlchan in Paradise Ep2 Girlchan in Paradise Ep2

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Just When I Thought I Was Out, You Pull Me Back In

I actually enjoyed this more than the first one. The first one had too much dialogue and not enough haha jokes. In this one, there was more action/locations, still a lot of talking heads, and a couple gag jokes that kept it from tanking: the bucket of water, the "you crossed the line", "the fight", and the pencil break learned from mom. Well that's more than I thought, but the problem with them is that they just didn't hit hard. They sound alright on paper, but I don't know if it's the purposeful shoddy voice acting (which I know is a parody, but it shoots the humor in the foot) or the lack of action and facial expressions. It's hard to make a joke sound funny with purposeful bad acting.
For a guy who is animating eons better than Metal Gear Awesome, you're animation is so stiff in this. The characters are like cardboard cut-outs. It seems like you're too busy trying to make an accurate portrayal of a crappy low-budget after-school special soap opera anime instead of a funny cartoon. Humor seems to take back seat on this train wreck of a series. But what is a series without a story arc or any memorable characters? At least meet me halfway and make it more funny. But I know that you've spent more time working your ass off than I have on this critique and that you're not a fucking magician who can just go "POOF! FUNNY CARTOON!"
But when you submit a flash on here, you stick your neck out. I won't chop it off, I'll just look away next time you stick it out. (Wow that sounds gay.If I could critique this critique, I'd say there's too many puns.) I know you've got many years ahead of you and that you learn from everything failures and what not, but I just don't see where this series is going. It appeals to a smaller market of your whole fanbase, judging from similar reviews like mine. And I love anime, just not shitty anime. And I still love your old shit. So there's my opinion, let it rot.

P.S. Ha, You made Broken Pencil Man's strings on his pullover hoodie double as his hard nipples right? Right? Damn it.

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CornDog Express Trailer CornDog Express Trailer

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Cornhole Express

A HIDDEN PORTAL...TO ANOTHER WORLD. That's such an overplayed premise. Chronicles of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland, Coraline, and Being John Malcovich in some aspects. But seriously, if you're going to pick a cliched idea like this one, you need to completely reinvent the idea. And judging from what I've seen, you haven't. And this alternate world seems so bland. A enchanting place where bears wear suits? Why is that interesting? Just for being random? I know you're using the, "we left the good stuff out of the trailer" routine but man, you don't have much going on in this at all. And by the way, what happened to Beast Snacks? I thought there was another episode coming out. This Cornhole Express series is a little too similiar in terms of setting too. But I'll still check out the first episode...

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tacobuttfish responds:

Well, there is a Mark of the Beast Snacks 4 coming, with as much time is consumed with only 2 guys to take the hit, and working full-time on top of everything else, it could take some time, as far as this series goes, it's nothing like the excellent films you mentioned. As far as the world being bland, just trust me, what you've seen here is not a good indication at all of the "world" As a matter of fact me even saying what I just said makes no sense at all, having knowing the actual plot. I understand if people do not enjoy or like the trailer, but please do not judge our series on a 60 second trailer with a mere 23 seconds of animation. I'm animating on top of storyboards and we threw this together mainly to show A.) We've got a new series coming B.) To help establish the main character's name (It's Toasty by the way) and C.) To show the bit of almost finished animation we had to see if the ever so rough Newgrounds crowd would approve. Doing frame by frame animation takes so much time and to just launch something as epic as we'll be doing next month, we wanted to test the waters as much as we could without ruining all the creativity we've slaved over for the past 3 years.

Oh and by the way, you called it Cornhole Express which is hilarious.

We're glad you're going to check out the first episode, and I think you'll be surprised at your assumptions gone wrong.

-Taco Buttfish.

The Dresden Dolls The Dresden Dolls

Rated 2 / 5 stars


I think everybody thought it was about a dildo. That's what me and my friends always said. I think the male equivalent in terms of weirdness is Detachable Penis by Butthole Surfers. I always fancied that song. Oh, the flash wasn't too bad either but there wasn't a whole lot going on to talk about anyway. The style was neat but that's about it. Nothing going on animation wise cept the dancing dildo.