Just When I Thought I Was Out, You Pull Me Back In
I actually enjoyed this more than the first one. The first one had too much dialogue and not enough haha jokes. In this one, there was more action/locations, still a lot of talking heads, and a couple gag jokes that kept it from tanking: the bucket of water, the "you crossed the line", "the fight", and the pencil break learned from mom. Well that's more than I thought, but the problem with them is that they just didn't hit hard. They sound alright on paper, but I don't know if it's the purposeful shoddy voice acting (which I know is a parody, but it shoots the humor in the foot) or the lack of action and facial expressions. It's hard to make a joke sound funny with purposeful bad acting.
For a guy who is animating eons better than Metal Gear Awesome, you're animation is so stiff in this. The characters are like cardboard cut-outs. It seems like you're too busy trying to make an accurate portrayal of a crappy low-budget after-school special soap opera anime instead of a funny cartoon. Humor seems to take back seat on this train wreck of a series. But what is a series without a story arc or any memorable characters? At least meet me halfway and make it more funny. But I know that you've spent more time working your ass off than I have on this critique and that you're not a fucking magician who can just go "POOF! FUNNY CARTOON!"
But when you submit a flash on here, you stick your neck out. I won't chop it off, I'll just look away next time you stick it out. (Wow that sounds gay.If I could critique this critique, I'd say there's too many puns.) I know you've got many years ahead of you and that you learn from everything failures and what not, but I just don't see where this series is going. It appeals to a smaller market of your whole fanbase, judging from similar reviews like mine. And I love anime, just not shitty anime. And I still love your old shit. So there's my opinion, let it rot.
P.S. Ha, You made Broken Pencil Man's strings on his pullover hoodie double as his hard nipples right? Right? Damn it.